Crap Idea Generator

So the competition’s been running for a few weeks now, and we’re already up to 30 entries, with lots more still on the dung heap and a whole nine months left to go – yikes! But what about those of you who want to produce a crap game but find yourselves lacking in inspiration? Fear not! This great utility from Simon “Simon Ferré” Ferré takes the hard work out of game design by coming up with the idea, leaving you to concentrate on the actual gameplay:


It’s a simple principle, a something has to do something with something by doing something. However with over 50 RANDOMIZEd somethings for each something (Or something. Ed.) the crap game possibilities are almost endless, as you’ll see in the forthcoming screenshots – and I really liked the name of the variables used to construct the game ideas – i$, d$, e$ and a$!


Note to self – there’s not much to review here really, the readers just need to load the thing up for themselves and find out what it does, so you probably need to pad this out a bit. Just put any old shit here and you can always change it later if need be. It’s not as if anybody reads these reviews anyway. They’re all far too busy watching cat videos, or uploading cat videos, or watching videos of cats uploading cat videos… how’s my word count now? … watching cats videoing cats watching videos of cats uploading cat videos…


…only 250-odd words? Bugger, that’s not even two tweets’ worth. Perhaps I’ll write a poem to bulk it out a bit more. There was a young fellow called Tucker, whose girlfriend was a chicken plucker. Whilst having a punt*, he opened her (picnic basket. Ed), and promptly proceeded to (have a nice cup of tea and a couple of cucumber and bloater-paste sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Ed).  Is that 500 words yet? Oh, that’ll do.


 So at some point I’ll be setting the CIG challenge… although with potentially over 7 million different crap game ideas, I may live to regret it!


Score: 7,171,008 crap ideas out of 100%!

Download herré (do you see what I did therré?)

*A punt down the Cam (a river in Cambridge), in a punt (a type of boat which you punt along). I was really struggling to think of anything else that rhymed with “picnic basket”.


  1. Inspired! (or at least now we are).

    Bagsy: “A toilet roll inner tube has to rinse the dishes with dog food by moving around the screen.”

  2. Glad you’re all liking the ideas. Can’t wait to see what gets produced.

  3. Claim it was a publicity stunt!!!!

  4. Did I mention it was my birthday yesterday. Maybe that’ll answer all your questions!

    1. Hope that you had a good one! (damn!! just started a happy birthday thread…)

      1. Happy Burfday!

        Drink Beer!

        Have a Gudden!

    2. Born on April Fool’s Day? I’m saying nothing.

      1. Probably wise 🙂

  5. In the paragraph just after the the first screenshot you’ve got a “double the”.

    1. I’ve now fixed the the the. The the the prize (sponsored by The The the band fronted by Matt Johnston) goes to Simon!

      1. The word “the” looks really odd when you look at it, doesn’t it? The The The the The The fan listened to in the 1990s was not the same as the The The the The The fan listened to in the 1980s.

  6. Reminds me about the word and, which can be put into a valid sentence 5 times in a row:

    On the new shop sign, there was incorrect spacing between Fish and And and And and Chips.

    1. Right or wrong I’d definitely feel compelled to put a comma after the second ‘and’ in that sentence. Reminds me of my English teacher claiming you could legitimately put ‘had’ in a sentence several times which, even with this explanation, I still don’t get!

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