Tag: waiting

Line Overdrive

lineovrdrv [2015-03-13 18:45:15]Unlike most folks, I’m not a big fan of dessert. I’ll eat some types of cake or icecream, but almost anything else gets a no thanks from me. Cheesecake, for instance. In theory, I should enjoy it, as I like all the component parts. Somehow, when combined into a cheesecake (which, I should point out isn’t really cheese and certainly isn’t cake) I can’t bear it. I’m also totally against the idea of chocolate with any sort of fruit. They’re just wrong together. Unless it’s Terrys Chocolate Orange, of course.

Line Overdrive is a game by catmeows that starts off with a lie. The title screen explains you use the letters Q and A to control your little manface. This is a LIE. You should use O and P.

lineovrdrv [2015-03-13 18:50:36]

Apple pie, and most puddings and crumbles however, I’m all over. And custard. Can’t beat a bit of custard. Tinned custard especially, in fact, which I know upsets some people as it isn’t made from scratch. I particularly like that cold, which I know also upsets a few folk.

Mint too is an odd one. I like mint-as-in-polo and mint-as-in-herb, but mint chocolate? No. Not even mint Aero. Evil stuff. Mint icecream? Get right out.

lineovrdrv [2015-03-13 18:53:54]

After the longest ever wait for the level to “build” on the screen, you’re finally given control (O and P remember). I maybe missed the plot, but you appear to be at some sort of party, although I did think for a while you were a train. Your manface-onna-stick travels along a line and you rotate it round the point at which the stick touches the line. You have to avoid red things with your face. Then you reach the end of the line and the next level slowly appears on the screen.

These pudding prejudices have been known to cause issues when out for a meal. Too many places seem to have cheesecake or fruit-and-chocolate based desserts. Rare indeed is a sticky toffee pudding, jam holy moly roly poly, or, hens teeth tier spotted dick. Which is a shame.

lineovrdrv [2015-03-13 18:59:45]

Oh wait. The instructions are on the title screen. I didn’t read them. Yeah, you’re at a party. Each level seems to be a different stage of the party. And the line is cocaine you’re snorting? Right.

Black Forest Gateau seems to have fallen out of favour with shops and restaurants alike, which is excellent news as I can’t stand it. Fruit and chocolate together you see. Horrible mix. Jam, cherries and chocolate in fact. Many a nightmare has featured a BFG.

The problem with Line Overdrive isn’t so much the game, but how terrible it plays. The controls are unresponsive and every death is because of that. Aside from my first 15 deaths, which were down to Q and A not working. Did I mention the game lies? LIES. But there are bonus points for using LINE and OVER keywords. And DRIVE.

I made a cheesecake once. It was disgusting.

Are you telling me DRIVE isn’t a keyword? Really? But there was a Microdrive and everything. And a floppy drive on the +3. Surely there was a DRIVE command. LOAD m you say? I see. More lies.

Final score: CHEESE/CAKE%. Don’t do drugs, kids.

Download ze tap here. No wait, here. Actually it’s here.