The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015 -

it's crap! In a funky skillo sort of a way.

Eye Gambler

From the guy that brought you such greats as the legendary Sam Fox Strip Snap, Alan Whicker simulator and, of course, Good Night’s Sleep Simulator, we have a new work of art called Eye Gambler.  Here is the synopsis straight from the horse’s mouth:

“Geoffrey Bong has a problem with his eyes. He just can’t control them!”

OK so far, and oh, don’t I just know that feeling!

“So, taking advantage of this poor guy’s misfortune, you (and a friend/enemy/casual acquaintance) get to gamble on which of his eyeballs will reach the edge of his eye first.”

Err..  yes, just as you do when your friend/enemy/casual acquaintance has myriad abnormalities!

Ethical debates aside, let’s see what this box of tricks has in store for us…

Mr Andrew Green is really trying hard here.  Not only has he delivered his game in an emulator friendly “Z80” format, he has also gone to the rather extreme lengths of designing cover art for the cassette:

Eye Gambler Cover Art

 

Impressed?  We, (sitting at the top of the menacing heights of sqij towers) are.  A first for this year’s competition anyway.  A full 90 minutes extra work must have gone into that.

Fortunately, the cover art offsets the fact that we have no loader or loading screen to bulk at enjoy so right into the game it is.  The loading page is colourful making full use of the attributes file and a JSW-paused-screen-style colour cycling thingy.  This is swiftly followed by story background and game instructions.  Luckily, I have a mildly worryingly passion for both gambling and eyes so this game sounds right up my street.

Eye-Gambler-01

Basically the gist is… gamble your £100 by betting which pupil will reach the edge of the eye first.  Crap points are duly awarded on account that the instructions say to “bet on which eyeball will reach the edge of the eye first”.  Surely your eyeballs are in constant contact with the edge of the eye?  I know mine are!

After choosing between 1 or 2 player mode (on the slim possibility that happen to be sitting there with a playmate, or that you even have any mates!), you enter your names and are off.

Each player chooses an eye (L for Left, R for Right) and the amount of dosh they are willing to risk.   Clear signs if quality are noted as it checks that you can’t bet more than you have so I opted to bet 10*PI and EXP 4 for my two players.

Geoffrey Bong is then drawn up on the screen and his pixel-eyes start moving around in a very disconcerting fashion.

Geoffrey Bong face with moving eyes

Geoffrey Bong with his independently moving pixel eyes

Clearly the bookies only accept whole number of £££ as when both players happen to win, they were each awarded £31 and £54 respectively, thus pocketing the extra 41.592653589p and 59.815p (also) respectively.Eye-Gambler-02

After that, it is basically rinse and repeat, except for the fact that if you lose all your money you are still expected to bet even though betting £0 is “too low”.

In all, Eye Gambler is reasonably decent.  It certainly wouldn’t look out of place on the Cascade Cassette 50 tape.  With a very comical storyline and some amusing graphics along the way, this game wins some valuable points along the way.  Certainly, it’s nice not to have your eyes burn or ears melt at some really badly designed game.  All in all, a thumbs up!

Download here: .z80 snapshot.

 

 

1 Comment

  1. Brilliant barmy cack.

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