The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015 -

it's crap! In a funky skillo sort of a way.

Lentils for Satan

There is no stopping MatGubbins at the moment with his latest entry for the 10 char challenge.  This little venture, thus named Lentils for Satan clearly speaks of a desperation for putting two completely unrelated words together in order to meet the 10 character/token objective – and as it happens, it does so in style!lentils-loader

After carefully checking the loader to ensure all rules are correctly adhered to (we wouldn’t want any cheating now would we?!), the now-familiar loading scheme used by Mat can be seen whereby the title graphic is loaded into the top third of the screen about 90% of the way through.  This time we have a rather picturesque, pleasant and colourful looking representation of the anthropomorphic personification of Beelzebub, (ruler of demons, Law Breaker, Evil Degenerate).  And he even sports a rather fetching two pronged trident (shouldn’t that be a bident? – ed.), cute pink mitts and matching booties.

In MatGubbins fashion, the title screen provides all you need to know about the game background.  Satan is hosting a party and needs lentils but needs to soak them overnight for heath and safety reasons.  Righto!lentils-title

The game has a familiar feel to previous releases by the author, particularly Clint And Da Crabs and the Rosco the Cat series.  Another familiarity is the choice of keys: { W, A, D, X } which I find very difficult to use – the standard “holy four” would make things easier.

lentils-game

You can’t help thinking this is money for old rope.  In this edition, there appears to be no score or means of progress, nor anything to avoid (not that anyone will be foolish enough to take on Satan for God’s sake!)  After I collected my 16384th sack of lentils and chucked them in the soaker, I started to wonder how many people are expected.  I can only assume that there are a LOT of naughty people out there!!!

Colourful and well written but very almost no gameplay.

Overall Score: 666

Download the .tap from the Gates of Hell here.

10 Comments

  1. Cheers for the reviews Bloodbaz, now I know how the game writers back in the day felt having to wait months for YS,Crash and those other mags to get their words into print and to see their game on the page.

    Keys are as is, you are the Devil and the game is hell to play, hence the crap keys. There is an ending, collect X amount of sacks and sling them in the pot and there will be a very rewarding message.

    Hmmm…. why is game Uncategorized? Is it on the naughty step for containing health food?

    This will be my last game for a while as I am currently writing Bandersnitch for the 128k Spectrum.

    1. Your introscreens are starting to look like really cool Ceefax pages, funny looking lentils in the game though.

      I can’t bear to play this, it reminds me farrr to much of Wunderchar$!

      1. Cheers Dave. Just need add a reveal key somewhere in the program…
        Those are sacks of lentils, it’s a big party and everyone is gonna get a bowl if they like them or not (remember… in hell no one cares)

        Wunderchar$! has a goal… and is more entertaining.

        1. When you say a ‘reveal’ key, there is no way of activating the routine at 666 during play is there?

          Also, baz’s link to the Urban Dictonary forced me to submit the correct version for the holy four, I just hope UD isn’t like youtube…

          1. “I just hope UD isn’t like youtube…”

            only a limey, faggert or a comunnist would use qaop keys!!! wsad 4 ever!!!!1

    1. “Throw down your lemons, you have 15 seconds to Mai Tai”

    2. Ah yes, thanks for the spot. All sauted sorted now.

      1. collecting a start of screen address worth of yummy lentils would’ve completed this game many times over.

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